In Journal, Transition

On Monday last (March 30th)
I made the first trip down to London for this year’s first bi-annual review and check-up..  Somehow I managed to arrive over an hour early. Instead of waiting for sixty minutes until my endocrinology appointment, I’m called in right away. Highly unusual but what the heck!! If the patent before me never appeared they either miss their turn or if they’re lucky, ask to wait for the next available – I love it when this happens.

During my session I was asked some fairly routine questions..
Since our last session how are you feeling? Are there any differences since switching to estradiol valerate? What’s your emotional state? How’s your libido? Is it suppressed?

Emotional state:
Since starting treatment a couple of years ago, my emotional state has never really changed, I have always been a positively minded individual, even at my most darkest situations I can workout a way to get shed the blues. I’ll usually goto the gym or start gaming.. anything to keep myself occupied. As I mentioned previously, I’m born intersex and as a result I have a slightly different chemical structure to everyone else. To me, this is my norm. I’m essentially “like no other” as Sony puts it. lol. – Now I’m not saying I’m special, just different. Fairly unique actually.

I’ve heard time and time again from other transgenders who claim to be “intersex” but they haven’t been formerly diagnoses with any form of intersexuality. And yes. Intersex people have visible differences in their genetic makeup. Simply making claims to be intersex and expect everyone to believe you doesn’t wash. Your doctors and specialists strive to discover the truth! And all it takes is a simple blood-tests, as mine did… But then I never claimed to be “intersex”

Switching estradiols:
It’s been about 90 days since switching to estradiol valerate and everything appears to be OK. Other than learning my dosage isn’t quite right with the occasional temperature fluctuation but I’m hanging on. I’m learning to cope… I often switch between over dressing to wearing very little, it’s all in a day as my bodily hormone levels change. Yes, I feel the dosage I’ve been subscribed isn’t yet sufficient to suppress my hot/cold flashes, shivers still make themselves known.

Now this is a rather interesting question, as I’ve never really openly talked about it.  And I feel it’s time I should share… Even though my natural testosterone levels doesn’t physically exist or is unmeasurable. meaning my levels are by far lower other people’s. Even your genetic girls/natal female tend to have more of the stuff than I do. And yet, my libido has never been stronger!! – I can’t explain either.. nor can my doctor.

Seriously though, I’m unashamed. I tell my doctors everything, exactly how it is.
It’s the one conversation he’ll constantly laugh at, followed by a long pause then a”hmmm” as he thinks…

On this occasion, I explained I’m that I often feel like I’m always on. Going on to explained, It’s like I’m always wanting some. It’s almost like I’m hooked on sildenafil (viagra) or the “off” switch is broken or something… and I often feel hornier than a ten-peckered owl!

As our conversation draws to an end, he’ll ask “how about now?”, I’m like ‘Now?’ , “Yes, right this moment…how do you feel?” …I tell him that I’m hungry… lol

Just before the session terminates, he takes my blood pressure and tells tells me it’s “excellent, you seem exceptionally healthy.” Afterwards, I get weighed.. followed by an another “hmmmm” with no explanation. lol – I say “I’m trying!!” 

Dr. Seal tells me that he’ll adjust my hormone levels as it sees fit, pending a blood test and before  I’m allowed to leave, he hands be blood form and asks for another blood sample…

Yep! Think I’m getting use to the whole monthly pin cushion thing here..

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