In Journal

Just so you know, I’m writing this in a fairly emotional state. It’s not very often I share something so deep with you guys, normally I like to keep my private thoughts to myself but occasionally I feel the urge to share. I’m not even sure is this a good idea… but hell. What’s the worst that can happen? For the last few hours I’ve been in tears with my hands on my head. I’m discovering I’m actually having some difficulties, here. I’m struggling with my concentration.. It’s easier to have random thoughts floating around my mind than actually thinking about doing one thing.

Tonight I’m like that goldfish — I put something down and I forgetting where I’m put them. I aim to do something, I forget what I wanted to do. I sometimes plan to go running – fitness is something I’m particularly keen on – then I realize I unable to find my keys. And now I’m blogging.. and I can’t focus on the job in hand. My mind is constantly wonders, ever so easily distracted. I can’t for the life of me focus or stay focused on anything. It’s truly annoying.

The sad part is, it’s actually much easier to let my fingers do the talking cause semi-touch typing is much easier than thinking about what I want to say and actually say it… I can pour out my inner feelings without thinking about it, however whenever I stop top think, I forget… It’s like my mind float away into the abyss and I can’t control it.

Yea. Sometimes I find it difficult to focus on anything. Other times I’m standing in the kitchen cooking and all the thoughts are coming to my mind, clear as day. I feel like I can do anything and write anything, it’ll make sense. However the moment I come to the computer, sit down to write, those thoughts have gone. It’s not right is it? Wish i know what’s going on.. I often wonder am I losing my mind? It scares the hell outta me.

Sorry for the rambling post.
Just how I’m feel sometimes, just not all the time.

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