This entry maybe slightly different from everything else posted previously. Perhaps this is the way I should be rambling in the future?
Continuing from my change of diet onto other need-to-do agendas in my life there seem to be gaps I need to fulfil.. such as getting my fat foot in the door to start in career of my own choosing. I’ve decided to screw what others think cause their opinions are usually meaningless and I’ve learnt that I can’t please everyone therefore I should stop trying instead one should put myself first. This is about me. I’ve wasted enough of my time on fuckin losers and it’s gotten me nowhere!! Unfortunately, this is where my body kinda lets me down, I still don’t feel pretty… or perhaps the right word is content? – I’m working on it. It’s mind over matter isn’t it? I have to learn to love myself, that’s what the missus always says… and she’s right.
This is where I may need some external help however. I refuse to be fearful to ask.
In my private and personal life there have been some changes too, although I haven’t been sharing them publicly till now, I have been privately sharing my feelings with various unnamed individuals on my facebook by means of private messaging, have in the processed post odd status updates whilst trying hard to avoid posting fantasies or risqué images that others less open-minded viewers would sooner report – I don’t want to be banned again.
with all this said, all it’s done is made some of my friends think I’m some sort of sex crazed/starved nympo-pervert but that’s fine. I’m pretty proud with that fact.
I do wonder how far it goes.. How much would I need to be completely satisfied??
Strange thoughts and urges have been running rampant in my entire system, probably since the near year, if not before. Worst, there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about it.
I like to think I’ve used social media well to convey my thoughts and feelings with others though I can’t help but feel I’ve become too expressive and demanding in my desires to find some form of gratification.
Hell, yesterday I even tweeted to PrincessDonna only to discover she’s no longer the director of various sites on Kink.. Kinda disappointing considering I have previously considered applying to be a model, would love to take part on Public Disgrace.
My friends suggest I should attempt to relieve my sexual frustration by means of masturbation but in all honesty, this doesn’t cut it for me.. I need something more, I’m kinda craving the need to be dominated, someone to take hold and control me, let them have their evil ways with me,
I honestly don’t have a clue as to what’s causing them… I’ve tried cutting down my hormones intake in an experiment to curb those feelings but then I’ll end up with awkward hot/cold flashes and the feeling of fatigue and those sexual urges do not subside; so returning to my norms suppresses those temperature fluctuations boost them and I’m
and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can possibly do by myself to relieve those urges.
Articles I’ve read:
Why do women become sex workers, and why do men go to them?